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What You Focus On Expands

As a young kid I used to watch my Nanna pluck the hairs out of her chin.  And wonder why she had so many!   AND why she wasn’t embarrassed about them!

Every second Sunday my Mum and Dad would pile my sister and I into the car and we’d drive to the other side of Auckland to pick up Nan.

Then off we’d head for a Sunday drive.   Mum and Dad were usually window shopping….looking at showrooms or properties or some other business type stuff.  Boring!  So my Nanna, Sister and I would sit in the back seat of the car waiting for them.   Entertaining ourselves.

We’d always have something edible.  Usually a loaf of warm bread straight from the bakery.  Which Nanna would cut up for us with her handbag scissors!  Yeah sounds gross now but we didn’t care!

Then she’d get out her hand mirror and start plucking the longish hairs on her chin!

My Mum told my sister and I recently…“If I end up incapacitated in a home, all I want from you two, is to come in and pluck the hairs out of my chin!”

And now…I find myself doing the same!  Plucking rampant chin hair!

I don’t drive a car in Bali.  But the rear vision mirror of the car used to be my go-to hair plucking reminder.  Such good lighting!  You see every blemish, scar and random hair stubble!

So on the occasions that I get a hand mirror out, I’m mortified by how many black chin hairs need instant removal!  Why doesn’t my husband tell me!  Although his close-up eye sight isn’t so good anymore!

Am I that mortified that I check it regularly?  No – I’m not!

What You Focus On Expands!

Worrying about what other people think of me is low on my list of priorities.  One of the many things I love about being in my 50’s!

We humans are wired to focus on the negative things in our life.  It’s just the way we are.  Maybe it’s a survival mechanism from the caveman days.

You can have one crappy thing happen in a day.   And you’ll instantly forget all the good parts of your day.  And focus on, analyse and go over and over the one bad thing!  Seems crazy really.

What you focus on expands!

It’s good to re-train your brain to recognise and put the positive things front AND first.

So tomorrow – from the moment you wake up…where does your mind go?….

  • Is it to a complaint or an annoyance?
  • Something that bugged you from yesterday?
  • Or something you think is going to annoy you today?
  • Fixate on it?  Go ‘over and over’ it like a dog with a bone?  You’ll get more of it!

Acknowledge any negative thoughts.  Don’t beat yourself up about them.  Just let them go.  Don’t let them turn into a drama filled movie in your mind.

Even if you don’t voice those complaints.  It still registers as a complaint!  It’s surrounding you with negative ’bring me more crap’ energy.

Turn your thoughts instead to something positive and good.  However small it might seem.  And keep doing this all day.  Try it for one week.

Acknowledge the negative thought.

Then let it go.

 Focus on something around you.  A pet, a plant, artwork, a beautiful piece of furniture, the sky…the trees.

 Or an upcoming opportunity.

 Something that makes you feel that little bit buzzy and grateful inside.

It’s not easy to nail this.  It takes practice.  When I feel myself slipping down this ‘inner moaning’ path I have to stop and re-set myself…..regularly!

Just approach it day by day.  Your brain is wired to complaining….but you can turn it around.

We had a lot of laughs with our Nanna.  She made our childhood fun!

Don’t give up or give in!

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